Goodbye To The Bet On Myself Summer…

When I left my full time job back in early April, packed up my things to head home to North Carolina for the summer, and bet on myself by going full time with my music, I had no idea how much joy it would bring me. There was a lot of fear. There was a lot of anxiety. There was a lot of hope. As I wrap up the summer I’m left with nothing but gratitude.

I’ve been taken by complete surprise at how many people have cheered me on and supported me. When a person takes a leap of faith, there’s always this underlying worry of what other people will think. I don’t care how confident you are, there’s always a tiny kernel of fear that people are talking negatively about you. I could’ve easily let that stop me from taking the summer to truly give this dream my all, but I’m so glad I didn’t.

My Bet On Myself Summer taught me that the only person who can fully believe in me and invest in my dream is… well, me.

Don’t get me wrong, so many friends in Tennessee and North Carolina have messaged me saying how much my videos have encouraged them and how they would love to help however they can. That kind of support, people coming along for the journey and wanting to see me succeed, means the world to me. At the end of the day, though, I need to be that support system to myself.

A career in music has been my dream since I was eleven years old. I taught myself guitar using YouTube tutorials and a picture book of guitar chords. Later, my parents invested in actual lessons that furthered my skills. I played gig after gig all throughout middle school and high school - some better than others. When I graduated and turned eighteen I pointed my wheels west and moved to Nashville. For the last 10 years I’ve been chasing this dream in a city that everyone tells you is the place where things happen.

‍ ‍ “You need to move to Nashville.”

‍ ‍ “You need to go on one of those singing shows.” (I’ve auditioned for one of those singing shows… twice… Sigh)

‍ ‍“Well, you need to audition again!”

‍ ‍“It’s a 10 year town.”

‍ ‍ “That’s the music business for you, kid. Stay in school.” - (That was an actual thing said to me when I was a teenager by an older, local musician that never said anything kind or encouraging to me, just critical.)

My first show!

I share some of these things that have been said to me over the last eighteen years of my career in music to showcase the unsolicited advice that people will give you when you’re running after a dream or a goal. Some of them were harmless and most likely trying to be encouraging. Others, not so much.

There’s no wonder by the time you’ve invested decades of your life into something, the idea of the dream changing slightly can be terrifying. No wonder we all fear what other people will think when we are making a change.

Back to the Bet On Myself Summer - it taught me that your dreams can pivot, the idea of what you thought success would look like might change, but the heart of it never does. No one else’s well meaning advice, opinions, or criticisms matter as long as you are happy doing what you love.

My idea of success when I moved to Nashville looked a lot like what everyone in Nashville views success as. A record deal. A publishing deal. A hit song. An arena tour. A whole lot of money.

Now, it looks a lot like making an honest living, having flexibility to be near family when I need it, and getting to make connections along the way. It’s time to be creative and pour into other forms of art - songwriting, video editing, painting, writing a novel. It’s being back in the countryside and also traveling all over; wherever my music takes me.

The Bet On Myself Summer might be over, but I’m continuing this bet in every season. It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else. They’re not the ones having to live my life. That’s the beauty of it. We all get to bet on ourselves in ways that are true to our heart’s desire.

A new friend I made at one of my summer shows.

As Autumn officially arrives, my twenty-ninth birthday is slowly creeping up. I’ve spent a majority of my twenties chasing after success that matches the Nashville definition. This coming year, I’ve decided to embrace this art of pivoting. To see where my music and betting on myself will take me.

Now, to whoever is reading this - go out and bet on YOU!

xx Carson

P.S. A massive thank you to the venues that kept me booked and employed this summer. Thank you to all the wonderful listeners at my shows that tipped me well and encouraged me during every hot & sweaty gig outside on the coast. Thank you to new friends and old friends who have celebrated me on this journey. To the ones who gave kind words instead of harsh criticisms, the ones that said positive things behind my back and supported me as I figure out what the heck I’m doing - I love you all.